


On a Day Like Today

by EscapingReality51



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Aaron is a soft lad, Depression CW, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Robert has a bad mental health day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2017-04-27
Packaged: 2018-10-24 15:30:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10744539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingReality51/pseuds/EscapingReality51
Summary: Robert has a bad mental health day and gets through it with a little help from his husband.





	On a Day Like Today

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a fic with Robert struggling and Aaron helping him. This is largely based on my own experiences with depression, but in my head Robert has definitely struggled with one at some point in his life, and as is the case, some days it just hits him harder than others. I hope people can enjoy it even if they can't relate how I describe it.

Robert wakes, shifting in bed before opening his eyes. He doesn’t know what woke him up, but he feels bone-tired, his head is throbbing and his mind cloudy. He shifts onto his back and gently opens his eyes. 

The colours in his and Aaron’s shared bedroom seem dampened, somehow less than they were when he went to bed. The sunlight streaming into their bedroom enhances his headache and makes his eyes hurt as he stares at the ceiling. The alarm clock on his bedside table says 7:24, six minutes before he is supposed to get up, but his entire body feels heavy. 

He can feel it in every cell in his body, the weariness all-encompassing and exhausting; these days are more scarce now, but they still exist, tearing down his weekday rhythm and making him doubt his entire existence. 

He closes his eyes, grateful for the brief respite from the outside world and just waits as the minutes tick by until the alarm goes off and he has to get up. 

Aaron is warm beside him, his face peaceful and his hair messy. It tugs at Robert’s heart-strings, seeing him so calm and sleepy and makes him smile slightly, even on days like today. 

The alarm goes off and Aaron sleepily groans, moving closer to Robert and pressing his forehead against Robert’s shoulder. 

“Time?” he mumbles.

“7:30,” Robert quietly replies and Aaron opens his eyes. 

“Right,” his voice is thick with sleep. He places a hand on Robert’s stomach and caresses the skin there, making Robert’s throat tighten. “Coffee?” he asks and Robert nods. 

Aaron cocks an eyebrow at him, sensing his sullen mood but saying nothing. 

“I’ll get started on that, yeah?” 

Robert nods again and Aaron presses a kiss to his forehead before getting up, making Robert wince slightly at the cold air that seeps under the duvet. With Aaron downstairs Robert finally sinks into the feeling, accepts the festering knot that has taken hold of his stomach, making him nauseated and  _ sad _ . It gnaws at his self-worth, tearing at his confidence and shredding his self-esteem with each second that passes. 

He thinks of the day to come; getting up, of going to the office, getting into a shouting match with Nicola over some haulage deal, having to make phone-calls to appease angry clients and suck up to business partners and he feels sick. Sighing, he braces himself, knowing there is no way around it.

He sits up, placing his feet on the ground to steady himself before he get up, grabbing a t-shirt and some jogging trousers to go downstairs. Aaron’s already started on the toast, a cup of coffee sitting ready for him on the table.

“Alright?” he asks, and Robert nods, the only response he seems capable of giving. 

“Take this,” he says as he shoves some toast at Robert, “eat, and then have a shower, yeah?”

“Thanks,” Robert says wrapping his arms around Aaron’s back and taking a deep breath. He smells of Aaron, warm and musky and  _ home _ and Robert feels calmer for a second before pulling away. Aaron is everything he has ever wanted but on days like this his kindness almost hurts, drawing out Robert’s insecurities and self-deprecation to an almost unbearable level. How can someone so good ever be with someone like him?

His shower takes longer than usual; he forgets the shampoo first, almost using his posh shower gel in his hair before he realises what he’s doing and feels like an idiot. 

The small things eat at him on days like this, his brain skipping ahead or lagging behind his every move, making him want to freeze, to just be and let the world pass around him, but he can’t and it makes him want to break. 

He choses clothes that he knows he feels comfortable in whilst also being passably snazzy but his body feels alien as he gets dressed, as if it takes more effort than usual to move and he hates it, hates himself for days like today. Clean, and dressed, he walks downstairs to find Aaron reading a car magazine and giving him a funny look. 

“Sure you’re alright?” 

Robert shrugs; he can never lie to Aaron, so he doesn’t see the point in even trying. 

“Nicola just called, think you’re wanted at the portacabin.”

Robert’s shoulders fall at Aaron’s words, and he tries to nod convincingly. 

“We can go there together, if you’d like?” 

He would - any time spent with Aaron is time he doesn’t feel so  _ wrong _ . 

 

The portacabin is awful; Nicola is loud and snappy and usually Robert can handle it, can handle her, but today he wants to crumple, to hide and ignore her every scathing word. 

He gets through, somehow, his mind working and functioning in ways he doesn’t understand until it’s lunch time and suddenly it’s the afternoon and his bones ache and his head is still throbbing but he knows he’s off work soon. 

Aaron sticks his head through the portacabin door at around 2 pm, smiling at his husband.

“Any ideas for tea?” he asks, and Robert shakes his head.

_ Fuck _ , he had forgotten about tea. His brain is exhausted, and they have to cook and he can’t, he freezes, staring at his hands that rest on his desk. He doubts he will even feel hungry.

 

He feels useless. Every task is monumental, every second his brain is working against him, scathing and caustic as he works, belittling and fierce as he takes a break. The only shining light is the clock on the wall ticking down to the time he can leave. 

The weird thing about days like this is that he is so good at hiding; Nicola doesn’t notice, Adam doesn’t notice, Vic doesn’t notice as she drops off lunch. The one person he suspects is Aaron, who keeps sending him smiles across the yard and sticking his head through the door to hear how he is doing, even though all Robert can do is shrug or say “fine”. 

 

When time finally comes for him to go home, his headache still plagues him and the thought of cooking makes him want to hide. Aaron left the scrapyard early, saying he had some errands, and Robert comes home to an empty Mill; there’s a note on the kitchen counter from Liv explaining that she’s having tea at Gabby’s and Robert breathes a sigh of relief, glad he doesn’t have to hide from her as well. 

He ends up on the sofa, feet up under a blanket for warmth, flicking through channels but never really finding anything worth watching. His brain shuts off as he finds reruns of Friends on one channel, reacting to none of the supposed funny jokes but glad for the distraction, the inevitable feeling of not being inside his own head. 

An indeterminate amount of time later, the front door opens and Robert shifts his head to see Aaron carrying a white paper bag and a black plastic one. 

“Right,” he says, “I’ve got take-away from your favourite sushi place, and the extended edition DVD of the Lord of the Rings.”

“You what? But you hate sushi…” Robert says and Aaron smiles as he sets the bag down on the counter. 

“It’s not too bad, and I thought you might need a night off,” Aaron replies before walking over and pressing a soft kiss to Robert’s lips. “I don’t know what up with ya today, but I wanted to treat you to a night in, alright?”

Robert nods, his eyes slightly blurry as he watches his husband unpack the sushi and place it on the coffee table, before popping the first DVD of the Fellowship of the Ring on and switching the telly to the right channel. 

Aaron works quickly, gathering a few blankets and glasses and whatever else they might need and Robert feels lighter, happier than he has all day. Aaron’s capacity for kindness was astounding, and Robert’s heart swelled at the sight of him, smiling, and happy, and at home. Soon he is taking two cans out of the bag and settling down in the sofa next to Robert.

“So, we have sushi, I bought a few of those japanese beers you like, and all you have to do now is to relax.” Aaron places the two beers down beside their plates and Robert’s heart soars. 

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Robert mumbles and Aaron smiles.

“I wanted to though - and I know sushi is your favourite, so thought it would make you happy.” 

“I don’t deserve you,” he says quietly, and Aaron wraps his arms around him. The knot in his stomach dissolves, leaving him smiling into the crook of Aaron’s neck. His head might still be throbbing but he can’t help but feel better when Aaron is wrapped around him, comforting and kind and understanding. He feels Aaron press a kiss to his temple and tighten his grip around Robert’s waist. 

“Yes, Robert, you do.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it <3 leave kudos and comments if you want, I would love to hear from you!  
> Find me on tumblr: escapingreality51


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